Disappointment, don't let it define you.

Disappointment. A single word that causes people to picture a time in their lives where life just didn't play out the way we thought it would.  I personally have more than a few disappointments in my life, some of which I caused while others were just thrown my way. My father passing, getting kicked out of high school (yea that one was my fault), cheated on by a man during his deployment...honestly, I could go on and on with the moments in my life where disappointment has haunted and burdened me. I have curled up in the corner of my room tears pouring, wondering why this had to happen to me, but then I started dissecting these disappointments seeing the small victories and truths within that horrible word. 

     Let's start with my dad passing. I know what your thinking how could victory come from such a momentous loss. This moment in life is one that I can say the world stood still. I am my fathers daughter, there is so much in me that is just like him, and I thank God for that (Especially my blue eyes...No one else besides my father shares the blue eye trait). From the time I was 12 had a label attached to my name that I always had to explain to people. It went something like this "Hey, my name is Madisen. I am 12 years old, this is my dad he had a botched surgery which caused a liter and half of puss and infection to stem to his heart and his brain. He had a heart attack and stroke, he had only a 30% chance of survival, but he is a fighter. My mom, brother, and I are his care givers." Yea, that was typical conversation from the time I was 12 until his passing when I was 17. I knew how to change an ileostomy bag, before I knew how to drive. I knew what a night shift felt like at 13, waking up multiple times a night to ensure my father was taken care of and that he had his TPN because he needed to be fed every 4 hours. My mother did everything she could to give us a "normal" life, but she could not carry this weight on her own. When my father passed, he was tired...tired of not being able to correctly formulate the words in his brain, tired of feeling like a burden, tired of not being the amazing father and OBGYN we all knew and loved. I remember looking in those big blue eyes and I told him that it was okay, that I loved him, and that he could finally go home. Moments later they called the time of death...I then had a new title the 17 year old whose father passed away. I suppose I decided that since I was the girl whose father died...I should become the girl who went down hill...fast. I started filling my life constantly, trying my very hardest to never be alone...because then I didn't have to deal the gnawing pain that was at my back. I began partying, I hung out with people who just wanted "adventure" and stories to tell. I became lost which incidentally led to me being kicked out of high school. Honestly, in retrospect the reason I got kicked out was a bit of stretch, but even in that disappointment I had victory. I found a program that allowed me to graduate high school, I not only graduated , but I was the class valedictorian. 

I know that last paragraph was a bit long, but you have to know some background to understand I know disappointment. I look back at those moments and I see the work that was happening within me. I now understand disappointment is only a death sentence if you allow it to be. Yes, my father passed away, but I am not just the woman whose father died, I am a woman with compassion and so much love. By taking care of my father I realized that nursing is my calling. My desire to help and console someone (which can be downfall at times) surpasses any amount of dislike I could ever have for a person.  My partying days? They allowed me to learn I am not invincible, and forgiveness is the most wonderful feeling anyone could ever receive. We all have disappointments in our lives, and sometimes it's hard to see how those moments in life could possibly bloom something more beautiful. Disappointment will happen, but we have a choice...allow those moments to define, or use those moments to mold and create a more beautiful strong person. The choice is yours.

One Bite at a Time

After reading through most of my colleagues blogs I have found so many similarities between all of us. The desire to be better, is there. As students we are constantly learning. Constantly seeing where we fall short and showing how we can do better. I believe that some of us can be harder on ourselves, which is definitely the category I fall into. I love what Kayla Sheppard said in her blog post, “I have learned that writing is not perfect and take years upon years to master. I shouldn't beat myself up for not writing the perfect paper. That probably doesn't exist anyway.” She is right it probably doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t keep her or the rest of us from trying.We strive for perfection understanding that if we strive to do our best we can rest easy knowing that we have done everything we can do. I’d like to also point out another colleague of mine R.Mckenzie. “This class has helped prepare me what is coming in future classes, helped me realize what may be expected of me, and to continually stretch myself to do just a little better." What rings so true to me is the last part of this quote, “..stretch myself to do just a little better.”. That is what we are all doing here, being in school learning, falling, getting back up again, and trying. My mom has always told me, “you can only eat the elephant one bite at a time.”. First, I imagine that visual and am a bit disturbed, but then I realize how true this is. We have to slow down and remember we are striving to be better one bite at a time. Clearly, we are not capable of eating an entire elephant in one bite, so why do we consistently expect perfection, when the point isn’t to be perfect, but to be better? I think I have rambled on long enough, so in my last post for this class I would like to remind my colleagues to only eat that elephant one bite at a time.  

Learning to love writing...again

Throughout the past weeks I have been challenged to become a better writer. I have tediously erased, re-worded, and re- formatted trying to write something I could be proud of. I think for me this class has brought out the writer in me. This class has brought life to an art form I had forgotten I loved.  I love putting words to the mess in my mind. I love researching, questioning, and debating ideas in my mind. This class while challenging, has reminded of all the writing I have in me. This class has also showed me the world of reading I have yet to read. I believe everyone has a writer in them, whether it be professionally or personally and I believe this class truly pushed those who wanted that push. I came into this class open minded, knowing that I had some basic understanding of writing, but I had no idea how basic my understanding was. I very much thank Professor Hamon, for pushing, challenging, and replying to my nonsense emails. It may be time to close the chapter on this class, but it is most definitely the start to a world of writing for me.

Kanye West on the presidential ballot?

“We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for president of the United States,” 

That is what Kanye West tweeted on July 4th, 2020. Yes, you did read that right Kanye has decided very late in the game to run for President. Now Mr. West is known for pulling stunts throughout his career, which causes people to question is this for real? I will say yes and no. Yes, he is running for president, but there is a bunch of huge no's in this political news. While he may be running for President, in some states he is not eligible  to be on the ballot. He also has absolutely no experience in politics except for his most recent songs about the government. Which while they have a catchy beat, I personally do not see how that could remotely help his campaign. (Although I'd imagine his campaigns would be a huge hit with those who like to party).Kanye West may be running for President,  but honestly his name on the ballot holds about as much weight as seeing Popeye on there....funny but not a viable option.

Wyke, Michael. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/07/kanye-west-is-running-for-president Accessed July 5, 2020.

Take a moment (Post 11)

Texting is arguably the most popular way to connect with people in the year 2020. We know that texting is a form of writing, but I would like to dive into and dissect how texting works for us. If you went into your messages right now you would see a list of people you have recently texted. Typically this list is categorized by most recent. We are then able to tap on the conversation we were having with someone, and see exactly who said what and when. Typically the sender and receiver are in different colors so their is no confusion on who said what. We are then able to reply to someone, when replying we are have our own spell check that typically helps us correctly write a word (or it causes you to say something completely off topic...not that that's ever happened to me). We are also able to add emojis, which allows expression to be conveyed. Then we hit the send button and there is our message, just waiting to be replied to. We text every single day, not noticing the ease we are given when texting. There are so many moving parts when we text, but the creators of the software painstakingly made these programs to add ease to the life of the user. I think it's safe to say that when we are presented something every single day it becomes normal, nothing special, but when you take a moment to see how far we have come in technology to be able to have conversation even when we are all alone....is a beautiful thing. 

Get Organized

We all have a certain way we organize our thoughts, especially when it comes to writing an academic paper. For me, writing an outline is my go to method for organizing my thoughts. By writing an outline I am able to create a list of how I am going to write my paper. This especially helped when I was writing my last paper. Sometimes when writing the words flow, other times I find myself at a complete loss for words. That is when an outline is so handy. It allows me to look at how I wanted to write this paper, what specific points I wanted to talk about, as well as allowing me to stay on track with where all of my thoughts go. There is always more than one way to organize your thoughts, it really is all about what works for you. I was reading some blogs and found another way to organize documents. Mr. McKenzie (a fellow student) wrote about planning his own papers, and I absolutely loved this idea.This is what he says about organizing his papers, 

         To properly write an academic paper takes planning, lots of planning.  I like to use 3x5 cards to write down notes, thoughts, ideas and the ever important Thesis Statement.  I will organised them in an attempt to make the ideas flow in a manner that makes sense.  I'll add some and throw some cards out. Add some quotes and references.  After all that, I'll fill in any blank places

Note Cards?! I have never thought about doing this before. The idea of being able to write down certain parts of the paper and then physically organising them is such a new concept for me. I definitely plan on trying this method for my next paper and see if this is an even better fit for me!

Works Cited

R.Mckenzie.The Life and Times of R.McKenzie.

https://qc1034.blogspot.com/2020/07/post-8-your-main-problems-with-academic.html

Am I Doing This Right? MLA Format.

When starting this course I felt comfortable with writing. Now I am not saying I am perfect, but my high school professor for English was one that wanted us to be able to think and write for ourselves. He truly wanted us to be prepared for college,and I honestly felt prepared. That is until I heard the dreaded words MLA format. I am sure I have heard that phrase thrown around a time or two, but I don’t believe I ever had to write in that format. Needless to say I was lost in Mordor, with a powerful ring, and absolutely no idea where to take this ring so that I can destroy it. (Sorry guys I binged Lord Of The Rings for about the millionth time this past week). I felt like I had fairly strong documents, but the MLA format was causing so many issues, simply because I did not know how to format correctly. I went to my brother and explained my issue, he understood because he had been in my same position years before when he was in college. Thankfully, he came back to me with a pocket manual in hand. “A Pocket Style Manual” by Diana Hacker, has been my saving grace for learning MLA format. This Manual has so covers everything from Grammar, to something called Chicago Papers ( I clearly haven’t gotten to that part yet). With this handbook in hand I feel confident that I can write a paper, analyze said paper and get the grade I worked so hard for. I highly recommend this manual to anyone who feels a bit lost when it comes to writing. I want to also attach a link for this manual, check it out, it may be your saving grace as well.

https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Style-Manual-Fifth/dp/031266480X/ref=asc_df_031266480X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=344109148067&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18409134783832646294&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1015270&hvtargid=pla-761199139824&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=69543897312&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=344109148067&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18409134783832646294&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1015270&hvtargid=pla-761199139824

A lol society

" lol see you soooooonnnn!" That text is my latest form of writing. If I wrote like that on any assignment, people would most likely think I fell asleep on my keyboard. It's absolutely a form of writing, but in texting we are able to put aside the rules of writing by using emojis, slang, and the basic standard of which we write a word. ( Except you're and your it drives me insane when used improperly) Texting is the number one way to have a conversation with someone day to day. We are not required to be eloquent or very thoughtful in our texts. This form of writing can cause issues in academic writing because texting is a form of communication we read and write everyday. I can say lol at the end of a sarcastic comment. I can't say lol in a paper to convey that same sarcasm. In academic writing we are required to be more thoughtful, so that our papers are not a jumbled mess of thoughts. I believe that this is the hardest part of academic writing. We have to mentally shift from a form of writing we are accustomed to, to a more professional way of writing. This brain block can cause issues when professional writing comes into play, but clearly it is possible because I am writing to you right now. I am already more thoughtful, because this is a blog post not a text message to friend. For me, I keep a journal it allows me to brain dump without rules, but it also allows me to write with a purpose. Yes, texting is an important tool for communication in our society, but it will not further our abilities in writing. I encourage you to get outside of your comfort zone and to start writing with intent, by doing so you are growing as a writer. Take some time today and write, write your thoughts for the day, or if your stuck there are plenty of journal prompts online. The future needs good writer, why not be one of them?

Yes, there is a road map to writing a paper (post 7)

There I was sitting in front of my computer, staring at my next assignment for my English class. I knew the things I wanted to say, but I felt lost. I would type one sentence then erase, type a different sentence. erase. My brain just felt like it had so many thoughts swimming in confusion. I was proud of my first assignment and that paper seemed to write itself, but now I could even string a sentence together. Then it hit me, write an out line. I grabbed a pen, paper, and started writing. No thinking, no strategy just writing. I needed to see the words in front of me so that I could be begin to organize my thoughts. Hand cramping, I was done, I had a mess of words, but at least there were words. Now it was time to organize my thoughts. I began dissecting and organizing my thoughts.  I took the main points of what I wanted to talk then I put my supporting information under those main points. Finally, I could see the road map I made for this paper. I breathed a sigh of relief, I can do this, I can in fact write this paper. With my road map beside me I was able to write the rough draft of my paper. I can not emphasize enough the importance of writing an outline, especially when writers block hits. By writing an outline you are giving yourself structure so that when you get lost you can easily get back on track. What if the only thing standing between you and an A paper was an outline? Get out that pen, paper and write that outline, you will not be disappointed. 

Voter Suppression or Machine Malfunction?

June 9th was the day Georgia had a complete catastrophe, no I am not talking about the corona virus, I am talk about the Georgia Preliminary. That morning thousands of Georgians began to line up, waiting for their right to vote. Now we all know voting can take time out of your day, but on June 9th people waited hours to be able to exercise that right. I started noticing the issues on Facebook, people sharing and posting that they had been in line for 3 hours and had only moved 60 feet. Why? Well everyone seems to point fingers at everyone else, and when there was no one else to blame they blamed the machines. I started digging around, I needed to know for myself what was being said and what exactly happened.

    This catastrophe begins well before the actual day of the preliminary. In August of 2019 the state ordered to get rid of the flawed machines, for a machine that would be more secure and verifiable. This new voting machine would give basically give you a receipt for the vote that you had made. This new system would allow states to audit when needed to ensure fair voting. While this was an excellent idea in theory, this would be a devastating blow to Georgia in June of 2020. These new machines were rolled out to different counties across Georgia and training was to follow. During the preliminary, reports of  some counties only had 1 out of 5 machines working, others counties stated that their workers did not have the passwords to actually unlock the machines for voting. 

    These issues caused lines to only get longer and voters to understandably get angry. Voters were given different answers when they asked about the wait times for voting. If there is one thing I know from working in customer service is that people want straight facts not bogus fluffed up answers. As people got angry they took to social media to vent. Everyone was angry and rightfully so. Different news stations began to report on the issues Georgia was having. Miles O'brian from PBS, reported from Central City Park Atlanta, Ga. One voter John Dodson had this to say, " It is 9:56. There are now 8 eight, eight ballots counted." Clearly the state had a problem, their solution? They extended the voting times for different counties. Officials started taking to social media as well blaming each other or blaming the machines. Finally at 7:36 pm the Georgia ACLU made this statement, "The Georgia elections held today were a massive failure. Countless Georgians were deprived of their sacred right to vote. Whether it is incompetence or intentional voter suppression- the result is the same-- Georgians denied their rights as citizens in this democracy." There is now an investigation on what exactly happened that day. Will we get answers, probably not. The only option we truly have is to move forward, as Georgians standing up for what is right and what is our right. If there was voter suppression, it is our jobs as Americans to not stay quiet and stand together to ensure that all voices are heard. 

                                                                        Works Cited:

O'Brien, Miles. “In Georgia, Primary Election Chaos Highlights a Voting System Deeply Flawed.” PBS, Public Broadcasting Service, 22 June 2020, www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-georgia-primary-election-chaos-highlights-a-voting-system-deeply-flawed.

Staff, WSBTV.com News. “Voters Run into Issues at the Polls across Metro Atlanta. Here's What Happened.” WSBTV, 10 June 2020, www.wsbtv.com/news/local/live-updates-voters-run-into-long-lines-other-issues-election-day/H6XEOPWP2NAUZAMNVYW3ISQB3Q/.

Authority and Value

Throughout this semester, we are challenged to question everything when writing including how do you

add value and authority to your writing? I am challenged with writing a paper about nursing, and why

someone should consider nursing as a career. I know the need to add authority and value, but I was kind

of lost when it came to stating how I will actually accomplish both things. I decided I would start with the

authority piece of this writing puzzle. The nursing field is filled with authority, but I want to make sure that I

use sound authority figures in my paper. For this I researched the actual statistics of nursing. I wanted to

do this so that I could add numbers to what I was saying.

I found the U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics it allowed me to see the nursing field as a whole and will add the authority I need for this paper. I then started thinking about the value of my paper. I want readers to be able to come away with something after reading my paper. For me that meant I needed to research actual nurses and see what they have to say about nursing. The world of nursing is vast and filled with so many amazing stories about nurses and things they have experienced in their career. After reading so many amazing stories I found two that I believed would add value to the paper. These stories added something to my paper I couldn't, they added the real element. I grew up with a family in the medical field so I know the value. I feel it in my bones which is why I chose this career, but I wanted readers to have an "oh" moment. We all know that moment, when your reading something and you just get it. You can feel what the writer feels, and your heart is then attached in a way that it stays with you. I believe that nursing is just that an attachment that stays with you whether your the nurse or the patient. I know that adding authority and value is crucial to a paper, and I now know exactly how I will write this paper.